My dear Skunkalufogus

Well, I suppose we can all rest easy for the time being as perhaps the skunkapocalypse is not as near as feared. It seems my Skunk neighbor was killed Sunday night. The cause of death is still unknown and will perhaps remain so (apparently skunk-autopsy is not a common practice). This said, it was not clear whether he was hit by the neighbor speeding out of his driveway at some bizarre early hour and then left along side our driveway to die a slow death. Or perhaps he spent his last moments entwined in an epic battle with the deer that has been rumored to be roaming the road (had to do that). Whatever the cause, I find myself grieving as I would wish death upon no creature (except most any spider which has the gall to come within 10 feet of my person). I suppose I only really longed for Skunkalufogus to relocate himself. Having no idea where a skunk would relocate to, I would have been satisfied being told he went to the skunk farm where all the little skunks waddle in harmony and enjoy peaceful seclusion from mankind. But no, his remains were discovered by my father who bravely scooped Skunkalufogus from the side of the drive way and placed him in a shiny bag which now sits at the bottom of the garbage can. Whenever I walk outside, I am reminded of the life of noble Skunkalufogus by the scent which emanates gloriously from the bin (at least until Thursday morning when he will be transported by tuck to his final resting place). RIP Skunkalufogus.